You'll do anything for a dime, looking for the golden lie.

Forget Audrey Hepburn, Forget Bette Davis.
I want to be known, just for being famous.
I can't act, I can't dance, I can't sing, can't you see?
But I'm young and I'm pretty and that's all that you need.

Yes, these are indeed Scouting for Girls lyrics.  Despite their use of the same four chords again in this tune, the lyrics actually struck a note with me (music pun! I'm just far too cool) What has happened to real talent?  I'm not going to lie to you, I'm a sucker for crap television.  I did indeed watch a good hour of Keeping up with the Kardashians yesterday, and in this hour I discovered that Kim has a bad reaction to Botox, Kendall tricked her mum into thinking she was smoking and that their dog had to go to the vets.  That was an hour of my life that I'll never get back.  But did I turn it off?  No I did not.  I watched intently (whilst icing a cake to perfection) ignoring the little voice in my head asking my I would waste 60 minutes watching someone else leading a life far more glamorous than my own.  But we are all suckers for reality entertainment.


In a survey taken in 2000, 70% of the population said they watched reality TV on a regular basis.  And that was before The Only Way is Essex.  That figure will have soared since, with the likes of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Made in Chelsea (do not get me started) and Jersey Shore slapping their audiences in the face with their wonderful personalities and charismatic behaviour (if you didn't notice this was dripping in sarcasm then you're going to struggle with most of my writing).

But, what phases me the most, is how these programmes are labeled as 'reality'.  When was the last time you were Vajazzled?  Or you found yourself on a fantasy island attempting not to be unfaithful?  Reality. Shows. Are. Not. Real.  To throw you an example, about a year ago I was having lunch with a friend and we were flicking through Heat magazine, when she found a picture of a star from The Hills, and exclaimed 'she's such a bitch!  I HATE her!' as if this woman had actually personally attacked her.  We laughed about it afterwards, but it made me realise how suckered in we can get to these programmes.  Through clever editing and (yes, believe it or not) scripting, the audience feels as if we actually know these people and are involved in their 'lives'.  I use this term loosely, as people do not actually live like this.  Sorry, I know it's hard to hear, but these programmes are not real.  You just have to watch Made in Chelsea at their poor acting to understand how scripted and set up these programmes are.

And as I have said, I'm no angel when it comes to avoiding these kind of programmes.  I for one love My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, but when watching reality TV I just want you to think about one thing - it's not real!  And I don't mean to be patronising (sorry if you read it that way!), just to say that the next time you see someone from TOWIE (see, I know it's acronym!) or another television programme on the front of a magazine or by their camera crew after being 'accidentally' caught sunbathing topless, just realise that getting 'em knockers out probably wasn't an accident.  Ha.

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